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Thread: How do you know you're SuperBetter?

  1. #21
    Super Moderator realsiri's Avatar
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    Mar 2012
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    Portland, OR
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    677


    No problem Peace Tigress--adding a winky emoticon would have signaled my purpose better.

    Re: living at home. I lived at home for six years after college while I paid off student loans and saved money for grad school. I taught at a school less than half a mile from my parents' house, and it seemed silly to waste the money on an apartment. Like others here, I fretted about independence and whether I was backwards or behind or a loser.

    I had a friend in a similar position. Once, when I was fretting about living at home she said, "It's rough, but I also know that someday in the future I'll be really glad for this time together." Her reframe helped enormously at the time and now, when realistically my parents have about 10 years left, I'm massively grateful for the time we spent together. I had a chance to get to know my parents as adults, free from most of the teenage stuff. I can see the difference in our relationship compared to that of my sister, who hasn't spent more than 2 weeks at a time with them since her sophomore year of college. There's ease and familiarity, and much less ambivalence. It's helped us navigate some of the other changes in our relationship as they've grown older.

  2. #22
    New to the hero world Peace Tigress's Avatar
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    Jun 2013
    Location
    Australia
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    27


    Thanks Realsiri
    Glad you had that experience with your parents. I don't have mine anymore. Lost my dad 31 years ago, my mother 10 years ago. Still miss them but no regrets in our relationship.
    I agree with you about getting to know them as adult to adult. Some people put their parents in a box and never move out of the child parent one.
    It's so good when you can.
    I have that with both of my kids.
    Spent my birthday with them yesterday. Presents are nice but their presence meant more.
    Their cards expressed their feelings and made me feel wonderful.
    Extract from my daughter's
    'You are the best mother in the world and the only person in the world who totally gets me. Thanks for not only being my mother but also being my best friend always. You are a wonderful, strong mentor and my hero as you are for other people too."
    My son and his fiancée's card
    "We both love you so much and appreciate you always being there for us. Know we will always be here for you too."

    Priceless!

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