I had a traumatic childhood, but didn't have attachment disorder. I might have but my abuser made it a lynchpin of the abuse that my family was ashamed or embarrassed by me and I set it as my personal quest to prove her wrong. (She wasn't a family member.)

What I did was I used the rage as an engine. I used it to propel me into a healthier direction. I had figured out that the rage was unhealthy and destructive and would likely put me in jail or an institution if I didn't find a way to deal. So, I pushed the rage down and used the fire in my belly (the rage) as a way to keep proving her (the abuser) wrong.

I thought everyone had that "I'll show them!" thing but learned that others just don't. It's a little kid thing, but it kept me moving into a healthy direction for decades.

I'm not sure how this helps, but it's what I know!
Judi