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Thread: Connection

  1. #11
    Fought a few battles
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Location
    California USA
    Posts
    57


    Hi, Judy,

    I am grateful to hear from you. Thanks so much for asking.

    The pain is letting me go, tendril by tendril, so it is like a large oval of pain around me that is gradually diminishing in size. It is not gone, and my chest is still hurting, but it is better. Nonetheless, I seem to be more aggravated about it. I am so tired of hurting.

    I have had some difficult other things in my life, and I am noticing that they are having a huge effect on me in terms of my recovery. They seem to be bringing me down and making this worse. And another odd thing is happening. I was feeling very much connected with myself when I was hurting more, because I was right there with it, but as it diminishes, I cannot quite find that connection now. That may be related to these other things that are affecting me so strongly. I have some sad and lost and helpless, hopeless feelings about them, and a lot of exhaustion and even backaches, and that could be very hard on my recovery.

    I have been using hot showers as power ups for my pain, and they are wonderful, and I feel much better for awhile after I do that. But it is still a work in progress. I was able to find a neighbor who walked with me last Sunday, and it was the first time I had walked in the same area where I was assaulted. I could not do it alone after that, but we will do it again together tomorrow. This support helps.

  2. #12
    Fought a few battles
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Location
    California USA
    Posts
    57


    Hi, Everyone,

    Unfortunately my neighbor could not walk with me today, but it was a nice sunny warm day here, and since I was ready to go walking, I went by myself. Yes, this is the first time I have walked alone in the same area where I was assaulted. I was tense and watchful at first. I noticed my surroundings and took care to look for the motor home of the person who assaulted me, but thankfully I did not see it. As time passed, even though I had planned to be alert, I intermittently forgot to be worried about it, and I had a nice walk. I passed people walking who had kids with them, and I felt friendly and not afraid. I may be a little bit uneasy still for awhile, but I found that I can still take my walk by myself and enjoy it. I have not been ruined by this assault experience. I can still be me and can still think of other people as good people. I think this is a real victory.

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