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Thread: Assertiveness Packs or Custom Quest/Power Up Suggestions

  1. #1

    Assertiveness Packs or Custom Quest/Power Up Suggestions

    Apologies if this has been raied elsewhere, but I was a little surprised to find that there are no Power Packs that promote improving assertiveness as a goal (I did a forum search for 'assertiveness' and only found a couple of matches).

    Are there any Power Packs that would be good for practicing this?

    (I first signed up a couple of years go so should I blievee still have access to the full range).

    Failing that, does anybody have any suggestions for custom Power Ups or Quests that would assist with this (I'm going to be trying to come up with a few of my own, so happy to report back with some of my own on this).



  2. #2

    That would be a good power pack! I'll do some brainstorming for custom ones.

    As for the ones that already exist, social resilience and/or simply connected might touch on some stuff bordering on assertiveness... But it's a bit of a stretch lol.
    Last edited by Lilb; 01-25-2017 at 03:53 PM.

  3. #3

    The Realistic Optimism and You Are Already Awesome powers pack might have some relevant stuff. Giving custom a try...

    Power ups:

    Get in touch with yourself: check in with yourself about your feelings. The first step to asserting what you want is knowing what you want in the first place! Pay attention to your gut feelings to enhance your intuition.
    Take Responsibility: say your feelings or opinion out loud, unequivocally. You can practice alone and in conversation. Use "I" statement about your feelings, instead of assigning blame to outside forces.
    Broken Record: When someone is trying to steamroll you, acknowledge their advice neutrally. "I've hear what you're saying." "I'll think about it". "I'll consider it". When stating your position, repeat it neutrally. "I'll let you know if I change my mind". "I'm firm in my decision". "I'm sticking to my plan".
    Gray Rock/"JADED": When in an uncomfortable disagreement, make it very boring for the other party to target you. Don't Justify, Argue, Defend, or Explain (JADE) your own position.
    Body Language: practice standing or sitting with assertive posture: tight core, broad and open chest/shoulders, firmly planted feet.
    Get Curious: When receiving positive or negative feedback, acknowledge: "I'm glad/sad you feel that way" and then inquire: "what in particular makes you say that?" This allows you to learn more from the feedback and redirects you from any immediate embarrassed reaction.
    Write It Down: when you think of the perfect thing to say after its far too late ... Write it down! Then write down a scenario where you could incorporate this line in the future. This will help prepare you for actually standing up for yourself in the moment.
    On My Own Terms: when you define your own terms for participation instead of accepting the terms some one else has dictated for you. Even if in a small way.

    Bad guys:

    Excusinator: this bad guy tells you that you can placate others with excuses, that it will "soften the blow". Fight this with "Take Responsibility" and "Broken Record".
    Self-Steamroll: this bad guy shoots you down before you even try, telling you it's not worth it. Fight him with "body language" and "get in touch".


    All The World's A Stage: Write and perform Role-Play scenarios based on your real life struggles.
    Fake It Til You Make It: Research the effect of adopting confident posture on internal mental states. Also look up research in body language "mirroring".
    Empathy Train: pick three scenarios where you wish you asserted yourself better. Consider why the people in those scenarios acting the way they did -- it probably wasn't to make you uncomfortable. Imagine what needs of their own they were fulfilling. Then think about your needs in that scenario, and how your needs, although potentially incompatible with theirs, are EQUALLY VALID. Record your thoughts on your activity wall.
    Social Science Quest: Watch these Ted Talks plus this one.

    You can see if any of the users in this thread are still active by PMing them. They might be good allies to borrow ideas from.
    Last edited by Lilb; 01-28-2017 at 06:18 PM.

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